The Armstrong and Miller Show
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Lester: Don’t touch anything, I don’t want you changing my settings.
[Lester sees someone coming and quickly shoves Connor’s head down so the guard doesn’t see him]
Connor: You know- Wha-What are you doing?
[Lester waves at the guard and he passes by]
Lester: I’ve got my image to think about. I’m senior management, you’re…whatever it is you are.
[He lets Connor up]
Lester: It’s okay, I don’t think he saw us.
Connor: We’re flatmates. Why can’t he see us?
Lester: We are not flatmates. And if I ever catch your socks in the bread maker again, you’re fired.
[Lester gets out]
Connor: I was just keepin’ ‘em warm.
Connor: ’Bluff Your Way In Mandarin’?
Lester: I’m going to a private reception with the Chinese ambassador.
Connor: Cool! Can I be your plus one?
[Lester gives him a death glare]
Connor: Take that as a ‘no’. I wouldn’t know what to eat anyway - y’know, unless the numbers were down the side of the menu.
Lester: Have you seen my invitation? It was here, on the table.
Lester: I said have you seen my invitation? It was just here…
Connor: Maybe it’s in your jacket.
[Lester walks away, confused]
Connor: Nancy! Gimme that! [wrestles with the diictodon]
Lester: Can’t find my jacket, now! What’s that noise?
Connor: What noise?
Lester: That squeaking noise!
Connor: …Can’t hear…anything…
Lester: CONNOR! [wrestles his ruined jacket away from Nancy] GRRAA!!
I will never get bored of this.
Ooh ooh I’m flying a hurricane. It’s a shit plane, I’m rubbish, my mum goes chippy in her slippers.
That was me being them.
That’s well funny man.
isn’t it though.
abby: you did this, didn’t you?
lester: oh, steady on. that’s the kind of thing that leads to office gossip.
abby: sorry. do you know what i think? underneath it all, you’re actually quite nice.
lester: repeat that disgraceful slander, and you’ll be hearing from my lawyers. you know, that overfed mammoth of yours saved my life once. would’ve been rude not to return the favor.
Jess: There are too many! I can’t control it! We need more medics, more locking devices, more people… I just-
Lester: You’re doing fine. Jess! Look at me! Jess. You are the hub of this operation, you may not get the credit you deserve but you do a brilliant job and if anyone can pull us through this, you can.
Jess: That’s the nicest thing that you’ve ever said to me.
Lester: I think it’s actually the nicest thing I’ve ever said to anyone, including my wife.
Jess: Do you mean it?
Lester: Every word. Now get back to work before we both start crying and hugging.